How many of these do I have?

With the season of gifting upon us I realize that I've been tricked again. I had a laptop already. But the ads on TV,   and the so called hip group of tastemakers, convinced me and all of America, to get  a tablet/Ipad. Now it seemed like a great idea; compact, powerful, cool looking great travel companion. But wait, wasn't that why they created laptops. Isn't that how they marketed and sold laptops? Oh, but this thing doesn't have a keyboard, so it's even better. I can just constantly touch the screen with my oil based finger tips. Wait a minute, but what if I have to type something...ohhhhh, then the keyboard will pop up on my screen. Shit, now my screen is a quarter the size and I can barely see the whole thing. So the companies figured out a way to fix this problem. They will sell an add-on keyboard. Now I can sit at my desk, where my red headed step child of a device, my laptop, rests dusty and alone, ashamed of its inability to split apart into two pieces that will be put together again, and again, over, and over, in order to work more efficiently, and begin to work on my ipad with the newly purchased keyboard that looks, and functions an awful lot like the laptop I have forsaken. I sit back and notice that there are still some functions I wish I had, like a mouse, or motion pad, rather than constantly touching my screen. So I look to my left and an open up my laptop who brightens to the touch and begins to show me the  so many features it has, the multiple USB ports, the SD port, the massive amount of memory, the similar size its arch nemesis the tablet/ipad have in common. I then have an epiphany...why the fuck did I buy this tablet. Now I have two of the same thing. And I can't re-gift because I already threw away the box and registered the tablet. 

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